15 Ways to Offend a Mom
It seems everyone is offended these days. Sometimes it’s warranted. Sometimes it isn’t. But sometimes, someone says something so unbelievably rude and inconsiderate, everyone ought to be offended.
I’ve been pregnant or breastfeeding on a repeat cycle for almost a decade now. In that time, I’ve had some amazing support from family, friends, and even strangers. But every once in a while, someone says something to me so outrageously insensitive (and even downright dumb), I can’t help but feel shocked and horrified. I mean, who hasn’t been there? You’re in line to check out at the grocery store and the woman behind you takes it upon herself to offer her unsolicited opinion. Okay, thanks random person, I’ll be sure to consider chewing my baby’s food for them before I serve it…..or not.
So here are a few of the most random, sometimes a little funny, a lot of times not funny at all, quips that have been said to me personally regarding pregnancy, nursing, and parenting….
1. While pregnant with my third baby: “You know how that keeps happening, right?” Yup. I sure do. That’s why I keep doing it.
2. “Why would you want more kids? You already have a boy and girl.” Because my dream of a complete family didn’t stop at two kids.
3. “A fourth?? I told you to stop at three.” My former boss actually said this to me. I mean, he clearly knows what I’m capable of as a mother. Right?? Ugh.
4. “Oh man. I’m in the splash zone.” Again, my former boss. He was alluding to my size (big as a whale) while I was pregnant. Another woman asked if I’d had sex with a horse because she couldn’t believe how big I was. Yep. That happened.
5. My cousin after finding out I was pregnant with a girl: “Oh. I’m sorry.” Um. What? Really?
6. “Were they planned?” Don’t ever ask someone this. You have no idea the trials and heartbreaks some people go through to be able to have kids. Even those of us with big families. No children are accidents.
7. After learning of my recent miscarriage: “At lease you already have two kids.” Somehow that didn’t lessen the hurt.
8. “You’re ONLY (insert any number here) months along?? You look ready to pop!” Just what I was hoping to hear. I’m enormous. Thanks.
9. While I was pregnant with my first: “What kind of birth control do you want….you know, so you don’t have any more.” I’ve never wanted to slap someone more than that doctor.
10. “When is the next one coming along?” I can’t even count the number of times I’ve been asked that. How about you let me worry about my reproductive life and I’ll let you know the details as needed?
11. “You need to stop breastfeeding him, he’s getting too fat.” Somehow, starving a six month old seems like a worse option….
12. “I could tell you were pregnant, you looked fat.” Don’t. Even. Get. Me. Started.
13. “I would NEVER let my kids act like that.” Well, your kids are probably buttheads, like you. And mine have a healthy respect for gravity after they’ve fallen for the millionth time.
14. “You have a degree? I just assumed you didn’t because you had so many kids.” How is my level of education indicative of my ability to procreate?
15. And lastly…”don’t you want a life of your own?” I have a life of my own. And it involves my five kids at every step. They’re the best thing about me. Why would I ever change that?
These are some of the worst things I’ve heard, but I’m sure there’s more. There are so many ways you can be supportive of mothers with just a few words. All that I ask is that you think before you speak. Would you say it to your mom? Your grandmother? If not, it might be best to keep your mouth shut and your opinions to yourself.
What did I miss? What are some of the crazier things you’ve been told as a mom?
