Should I stay or should I go…back to work?

My husband and I met my sophomore year of college (19 years old! A couple of babies…). We dated long distance (I was in Washington and he was in California/Iraq) for the next 18 months and at the ripe old age of 21, we decided to get married.
Our wedding was in the middle of my senior year and shortly thereafter we found out we were expecting our first baby. As a 21 year old college senior/newlywed, I was both elated and terrified. I knew I always wanted to be a mom, I just hadn’t planned on it happening quite that quickly.
I graduated from college that May and moved down to California to be with my husband (yes, we were long distance married my last semester). With only a couple months left until our son was slated to arrive, I opted not to look for a job and instead threw myself full force into setting up our new home and getting ready for our baby. I knew I wanted to stay home with my son after his birth, but I was wholly unprepared for the void in my life that was not being filled by school and working anymore.
Flash forward a couple of years, a couple of deployments, and a couple more kids. Our lives were busy and fun and I never seriously considered finding a full time job (I was still in the Reserves). There were definitely times during those first few years where I desperately wanted to be working, even if it was just part time. But it was never a good time with my husband’s career, never convenient, never worth it to pay for child care for the hours I’d be away. There was always a reason not to pursue it. And not that they were bad reasons, but I still had the desire to do more. Be more.
I have always loved being able to stay home with my kids and I will never regret that decision at all. But yes, there is still a part of me that is jealous of the women who go to work and socialize with other adults (hey, it’s the little things) and still get to come home to their babies at night. I honestly can’t say if one option is better than the other. I do know the grass always looks greener on the other side though. I think a mom’s decision to stay at home with her kids or work outside the home to provide for her family are deeply personal decisions. And while I was somewhat thrust into my role as a stay at home Mom, I think it was ultimately the best decision for my family.
So would I choose to be a stay at home Mom again if I had to? Yes, in a heartbeat. Being a safe haven for my kids is the best job for me. Even if babies aren’t the best conversationalists.